From Jim Palmer’s prompt:
1) What old and self-sabotaging story about yourself are you carrying around in life that you need to bury once and for all?
That I’m lazy. That I need to defend myself when others jokingly call me lazy (in the sarcastic you’re-the-least-lazy-person-I-know way, because I actually work all the time, and my friends see this even when I don’t). That I’m a failure, career-wise and financially, because I’m lazy. That my house is messy because I’m lazy. That I’m lazy and deserve all the negative consequences that I perceive as being a direct result of being lazy.
2) What new possibility is it time for you to begin courageously creating in your life, starting today?
a) That I’m a writer. I think that finishing NaNoWriMo gave me a jump start to this. It proved to me that even working two jobs, I can do this. I know that I can, because I did. I mean, I haven’t revised/cut/edited, which is the harder work for me, but churning out 50,000 words in 30 days is nothing to sneeze at.
b) That I can have a home that is welcoming to others, and that it’s not the overwhelming task that I sometimes make it out to be. I’ll say more on this at a later date. I’m going to let it stew for a while.
3) You are not limited to the person you have become. Imagine a new way of being you that you get to create, which deeply resonates with your heart, soul, and spirit. Describe that person in writing.
She loves what she does for a living – not just the people she works with or the occasional task – but really loves the work itself. She travels, even if there’s no one to go with her. She’s not afraid to go alone. She’s not afraid, period. She relishes solitude when it is given to her. She buys fair and locally when at all possible. She is loved deeply and specifically by a special person whom she loves deeply and specifically as well.
4) The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result. Where is it in your life that you need to do things differently, and explore a new way of thinking or being?
Online dating. I just need to stop. There may be a good match for me out there on the intrawebs, but mostly, there are just trolls. It affects my opinion of available men of a certain age, which may not be accurate or fair. After all, I’m an available woman of a certain age, and I’m fantastic. It’s not outside the realm of possibility that the same could be true of men.
Missing deadlines for calls for papers or writing contests. It’s hard to get published if you never submit anything.
Buying more than three bananas at a time. I just don’t eat them that quickly, and I say that I will make banana muffins if they get too ripe, but I will not.
5) Share one of the above items with others. In other words, share with a friend the story you’ve decided to bury, or share the new possibility you are creating for your life. Write a post about where you plan to do things differently in life, or new ways you are exploring what it means to be you.
Does this count? Check.
Also, my goal for December and January is to work on an existing story and have two people read it. So Maggie and Stefanie – expect emails by the end of January with a hefty attachment.
6) Do something symbolic to represent the significance of today as a new starting line in your life. Walk that bridge. Bury something in the ground. Cast something into the waters. Watch that balloon float into the sky. Create a collage that artistically expresses the significance of today for you. Get a tattoo that holds significance. Whatever it may be for you, do something that is physical or sensory oriented that connects you to the meaning of today for you.
I added more candy canes (oddly enough, my favorite Christmas candy) to my tree. I’m physically adding more fun and sweetness to something that’s already beautiful, which I’d realize if I took the time to step back and look at it.