May 2024 TBR

Welcome to May! The last month for a while when temperatures in Texas are likely to be anywhere near reasonable. The end of the semester. The beginning of summer (including summer training). Surgery toward the end of the month. 

Lots of things going on, but maybe also plenty of time to read. Here’s what I’m planning on this month.

Book Clubs

• Real Americans by Rachel Khong – I know I haven’t been including my subscriptions, but when it’s both Nowhere’s Fantastic Strangelings pick AND Roxane Gay’s pick for the month, I probably want to go ahead and read it. Also will meet the standard for 52 Book Club’s prompt “A sticker on the cover” and Nowhere’s “A Nowhere Book Club pick.”
• Mad Honey by Jodi Picoult and Jennifer Finney Boylan – Not sure I’ll get around to re-reading it, but it is seared into my brain, so I’m excited to talk about it with friends again! If you haven’t read it, definitely pick it up.
• The Measure by Nikki Erlick – Another possible re-read, especially as I’m slated to lead the discussion. This was one of my favorite books that I read last year.
• Dinosaurs by Lydia Millet – A story of hope amidst a sea of existential dread. Same, Dinosaurs.
• When Women Were Dragons by Kelly Barnhill – Historical fiction for Rise & Shine group, a “fiery feminist fantasy.” Sounds like something I would love.
• Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll – I’m participating in my first readalong through the Audrey app. This should be fun.

Reading Challenges

The Pole by J.M. Coetzee

• A musical instrument on the cover (52 Book Club)

Funny Story by Emily Henry 

• Choose an audiobook solely based on your favorite narrator (narrated by Julia Whelan) – Libro fm

Scorched Grace by Margot Douaihy

• Read an audiobook set in your favorite city (New Orleans) – also Libro.fm

The Book Charmer by Karen Hawkins

• A book with magical realism (POPSUGAR)

Library Reads

These need to go back to the library soon, so on to May’s TBR they go!

• Mika in Real Life by Emiko Jean
• Sacred Spaces by Carley Summers
• Feed These People by Jen Hatmaker
• Rest is Resistance by Tricia Hersey

There are several books I’m finishing from previous months, and I’m on a Phryne Fisher kick with my audio selections, so a few of those will likely make an appearance this month, too.

I hope you get some time to read something you love this month!

Spring To-Do List

The past few years, I’ve made a summer bucket list. Mostly, I’ve done it because I have to talk myself into liking summer as a season because it is so, so hot in Texas and that’s the worst. It also keeps me more grounded in the present instead of always focusing on future plans. And of course, making these lists is also a good way to check in with goals to either make sure I’m on track or get myself back on track. 

So why not do that with every season?

Here are some things I want to do this spring. 

1. Buy fresh flowers. I have received so many flowers this year, and it’s been lovely. I mean, some of them have made me sneeze and thus had to live elsewhere for a little while. But I really love seeing fresh flowers when I come home. Bonus to picking out/buying them myself? I know I’ll get what I love and still be able to breathe normally. 
2. Plant citrus trees. My friend Jessica gave me a bunch of citrus seeds, and soon (this weekend, maybe?) I’m going to plant them in buckets to see if they come up. I’ve already got the pots and the soil, so all that’s left to do is plant!
3. Drink tea and read when it rains. It rains so much this time of year, and I don’t take advantage of that nearly as often as I could. A cup of tea and a good book are excellent accompaniments to a chorus of rain. It’s my ideal quiet morning/afternoon/any time.
4. Play springy playlist when cooking. Cooking is relaxing to me, but lately it’s been mostly a utilitarian, get-in-get-out, cutting-corners process. I want to reintroduce my former habit of playing music to set the mood and make cooking more fun. I have all sorts of playlists for this already (brunch, spring, etc.); it’s just a matter of remembering to put one on when I start.
5. Get my feet ready for sandal season. I often neglect my feet during winter. I’ve been doing better this year out of necessity (the neuropathy side effects of chemo are no joke), but I still want to give them a little extra TLC before I expose them to the elements with summer footwear.
6. Re-establish my strength routine and take some long walks. My back seized up for the first time ever last week. Clearly a sign that I’ve been slacking on my core strength. Or that I’m just getting older. But a solid strength routine and regular walks can only help with both physical and mental health, so I want to make both a priority again.
7. Visit the Denton Community Market. This is the best place to get local, seasonal produce. Also, it’s just one of my favorite things Denton does. Bonus to going in spring rather than summer – the weather outside may actually be bearable.

Do you have any special plans for this spring?

Friday Five – Back Issues and Other Exciting Adventures

It’s been a pretty chill week here overall. I mean, my back seized up (due to sleeping too long? Sleeping in the same position? Breathing too hard? Who even knows.) for the first time in my life, and that was unpleasant. I told the nurse taking my labs that it had never happened to me before and she said, “How old are you?” When I replied, “49,” she laughed and told me I was due. I’ve done a casual survey of people I’ve spoken to this week and can confirm that they all seem to think that’s a fair assessment. *sigh* Fine. 

Anyway, here are some things I ran across on the internet this week. Enjoy!

• Stop everything and go to my friend Shadan’s Etsy shop, HappyHeartsBoxes. I can personally attest that she puts together the best gifts. Let her take the guesswork out of it for you.
• I am a big proponent of the 3 Drink Theory, and mine definitely follow the caffeinate/alleviate/hydrate pattern. My most frequent trifecta at work is coffee, an espresso milkshake from The Market, and a bottle of water.
• I’ve added the Aubrey app for more audiobook options. I’m most excited about the prospect of discussion questions included at the end of many of the books (great for book clubs when I’m in charge of leading) and the monthly listen-alongs! I think my first is going to be Alice in Wonderland in May!
• I love this piece (and these book selections) from Lisa Bartelt. I, too, am (more) drawn (than usual) to dystopian or darker fiction these days.
• I met Shawn and Maile at a writing retreat in Virginia a few years ago (I say a few, it was pre-pandemic…what is time…) and have followed their writing ever since. I can’t think of two people more well-suited to owning a bookstore and fostering a literary community. I’m so excited for them and their new adventure with Nooks, and if you’re in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, check it out and let me live vicariously through you.

I hope you all have a great Friday and a wonderful weekend!

Musk Ox

One of the prompts for Nowhere Bookshop’s 2024 Reading Bingo is “Your Roman Empire book.” That is, a book about a subject that you think of all the time – “a niche or specific obsession, interest or event that has a considerable impact or influence on someone.”

There are many topics that could fit into this category for me. My ideal home. Hygge. Neurospicy brains and the wonders of how they function. Mutual aid. Fair labor. Countries I could retire to that practice mutual aid and fair labor.

As I was pondering which of these topics I would choose a book to read about, an image sprang to mind.

A herd of musk oxen.

Any time someone does something sweet or says something kind, or any time I think of teamwork or community (which is quite often, especially given that a big part of my job is leading a team), I think of the humble musk ox.

The preacher of the church I belonged to for most of my 20s and early 30s was a great storyteller. One of my favorite stories he told was about these large, wooly creatures. Musk oxen aren’t particularly fast or agile. Their main predators – wolves and grizzly bears – could easily take out a musk ox on its own.

The problem for wolves and bears is that they can’t fight just one musk ox. At the first sign of danger, the herd circles up, facing outward. They put the young, the ill, and the injured – the most vulnerable – in the center of the circle to protect them. When the attack comes, the predator has to face all the strongest members of the herd.

It’s a pretty effective defense strategy and a good example of what a healthy community looks like.

There are many ideas I picked up at this church that I’ve had to confront and unlearn. There are several things I accepted as given when I was there that my current boundaries wouldn’t let me be a part of now.

But it is also true that these are the people who taught me how to live in community. They taught me how to be vulnerable enough to depend on others and how to be someone others can depend on, too.

They taught me how to be a musk ox.

And for that, I am forever grateful.

Friday Five – Self-Care Tools

This week has been pretty OK. Today, on his birthday, I’m thankful for my brother-in-law. He is always eager to help out with random tasks, and I think he cares more about my car maintenance than I do. He has a sweet heart and gets nerdy about good deals, which is super endearing. Glad he’s part of our family!

I’ve been thinking a lot about the chaos of the world this week. We humans are just so, so bad at…humanity. The therapy has been really good lately, though, so instead of spiraling, these thoughts have prompted a craving for creating restorative, quiet space and practicing consistent self-care (which are important for maintaining sustainable education, awareness, conversations, activism, etc.). Of course, this has led me down rabbit holes, chasing tools that might help. So that’s what today’s list brings. These aren’t necessarily things I am going to incorporate, but I found them particularly beautiful and thought they might be things others would enjoy as well.

• I have toyed with the idea of the Archer & Olive subscription box for a few months. I looove and hoard office and craft supplies. Any time I’m at a yard sale or a craft store or Targe with a little fun money to burn, that’s what I’m drawn to. While the subscription is a bit pricey, you get quite a few nice things with each box. And they’re soooo pretty. I may subscribe just to have gorgeous things on hand when someone’s birthday (or any day, really) comes up and I want to give them a little something special.
• I ordered the latest copy of Bella Grace, and it is a visual treat. The articles and lists inside are not particularly groundbreaking, but they’re easy reads. They’re great for a quick reminder that there is more to life than the to-do list. Sometimes, I just thumb through to look at the beautiful pictures (also would be good for collaging/mood boards, if you’re into that sort of thing). 
• I am obsessed with the Finch app. I have often struggled with tracking simple daily self-care, and this makes it fun. My birb is named Bandit, and she’s adorable.
• I find myself using the Insight Timer app more days than not. It’s where I found the sleep music I’ve been using for a while (also, I think I want to make a sleep music album myself. I think that’s my jam.), but lately, I’ve also been using some of the good-morning/good-evening meditations. 
• Finally, while I think this would be too much stimulation for me personally, I can see how a Northern Lights lamp like this one would be a cozy addition to someone’s home. 

Do you have favorite self-care tools? What are they?

I hope you have a good weekend, friends!

The Year That Was Meant To Be Quiet

Life seems to be plodding along lately. I am not doing a lot of things I’d usually do because I don’t have the energy (and also there are so, so many germs out there that my body just can’t handle being around right now). My treatment has hit a small hiccup (delayed due to concerning lab results – nothing too drastic or out of the ordinary, I’m assured), and that’s frustrating.

But I’m getting through it without too many terrors, so I guess that’s something.

This weekend, I participated in Dewey’s 24-hour Readathon. And by participated, I do mean read sporadically and fell asleep a lot. I finished one of the books I started, though, and I’ll probably finish another tonight. I don’t see me finishing the book for book club by tomorrow. It’s a long one, and while I started it last month, I haven’t been reading consistently so time got away from me a bit.

The whole weekend was so relaxing. I even got some journaling in, and I remembered my word for the year.

Quiet.

In many ways, it has been quieter simply because I’m doing less and staying home more. I’m even doing less when I’m at home. I still clean and work on projects but in much shorter spurts. I haven’t had the attention span to read as much as usual. I’ve decided that while I’m still going to try to complete some of my reading challenges, writing reviews for each book I do read is probably not a reasonable expectation this year. So it’s been quieter here, too.

But when I do leave home, everything is so intense.

I’m not just going to work; I’m rushing through getting things done because I’m out so much with appointments and don’t want to miss anything important. Also, my office is moving (again) into a louder part of the office (again). One day, I’ll actually get to settle into this position and feel like I have my head on straight. I hope.

I’m not just getting regular check-ups but intense treatments that make me feel puny, and that affects every other aspect of my life.

I’m attending very few social events, but I feel way more social than usual because I’m trying to keep people informed and constantly answering questions of “How are you doing?” and “How can I help?” which are very sweet questions to ask. I do miss, however, having conversations about literally anything else. I’m so tired of talking about myself (which I realize may not be believable given that I’m currently doing so on the internet but…you get it).

What I want to explore this week is carving out quiet spaces in the chaos. I want to turn my new office into a calm area where I can be productive without getting overstimulated. I want to give myself buffers around my appointments so that I am not just darting to them and rushing back but having a chance to process (or just breathe) a little before I jump right into the next thing. I want to be bolder about changing the subject when I can’t possibly fathom talking about my body or my needs for one minute longer. Simply ending these conversations when I need to is also a good alternative.

I enjoy solitude and quiet time, so while this is a challenge, it’s a welcome one. In fact, I think it’s just what I need to get myself back to some semblance of what I meant this year to be.

Friday Five – Rest and Reading

Happy April! In the past couple of weeks, I’ve had some time off from work to rest and breathe, and it was so good. I should do that more often. Noted.

Here are some things I’ve enjoyed in the last few weeks.

• On a Facebook post my friend and bandmate Jesse described the music they played during his head CT. I especially loved this quote at the end: “Overall it was a magical concert albeit brief, but this is a simple reminder that the beauty of music and art is fleeting, ephemeral. The only reason I didn’t give it a 5/5 was because the light show left something to be desired, and there was no encore,” and the link he provided to D Magazine’s article about listening to the symphony in space. 
• Enjoy these 7 reasons you shouldn’t date a reader. Accurate. 
• I’ve been anxious and insomnia-ed lately and super steroid-zoomie lately, and somatic yoga has helped. 
• I loooove Ollie Schminkey’s poem. And the delivery? Wonderful. I love the enthusiasm, the frustration, the insight, the passion. I especially love the parts that the audience clearly loves, too, particularly “I am not trapped in my body; I am trapped in other people’s perceptions of my body.” Worth a watch (and a re-watch), especially for those who find themselves in a place of “I just don’t understand.” This might help.
• “And Yet the Books” – a treasure to read for National Poetry Month from Czeslaw Milosz via Susan Cain.

I hope you have a good weekend!

April 2024 TBR

Hello, friends. It’s National Poetry Month! There are several specific volumes of poetry I have in mind for this month already:

• How To Fly (in Ten Thousand Easy Lessons) by Barbara Kingsolver 
• When You See my Mother, Ask Her To Dance by Joan Baez
• Woman Without Shame by Sandra Cisneros (in both English and Spanish, reading concurrently)
• If Not, Winter by Sappho

I’ll probably also read some May Sarton. Probably some Louise Glück. And because the libro.fm reading challenge prompt, “Listen to at least ten minutes of an audiobook every day for a month” will make me listen to just a little bit of poetry every day, Poetry Unbound, curated by Pádraig Ó Tuama.

One of my in-person book clubs is participating in a choose-your-own-adventure poetry night, where we share our favorites of the poems we read this month with each other. The library book club is discussing our favorite young adult selections. The other two are reading:

• Kala by Colin Walsh
• The Covenant of Water by Abraham Verghese

Other than my book club selections and the heightened focus on poetry, though, I am taking the rest of my reading time this month to read the things from January-March’s TBRs that I haven’t finished yet. Or at least make a dent in them. My focus and reading speed have been way down recently, but given everything else that’s going on, I suppose that makes sense. Taking a month to acknowledge that and regroup.

What are you excited about reading next?

Friday Five – Happy Birthday Weekend to Me!

My good friends Maggie and Michelle are coming into town today and spending my birthday weekend with me, and I’m so excited!! We are going to eat cupcakes, binge-watch comfort TV, and just bask in each other’s presence all weekend. 

Up until very recently (i.e., a couple of days ago), I have been operating under the assumption that I will have the energy to do everything I really want to do. I mean, I knew in my head that this was not probable. But I cling to the idea that I’m extraordinary. Well, I am. Extraordinarily sensitive to treatment in that I have had almost every one of the milder side effects of chemo so far. Apparently, that means it’s working, so I’ll take it. But still. 

Could it also mean that maybe I don’t stretch myself to the very end of my energy every single day? I think so. I think that would be a good thing to stop doing. Every week, I find more and more that I usually love to do that I just don’t have the energy for, and that’s going to have to be ok for now. The things I love will still be there when I’m well.

In the meantime, here are some things I love that take relatively little bandwidth.

• Oh, gosh. Ruth Reichl, Laurie Ochoa, and Nancy Silverton have a podcast together. It’s called Three Ingredients and I am obsessed (with a PODCAST?! I know, right?!). 
• Five ways to trick yourself into decluttering. The timer works really well for me. I can do anything for five minutes, and I can get a surprising amount of things done in that time.
• Dorie Greenspan has a new book coming out, and it’s about simple cakes. I feel like I need to pre-order it, because simple cakes are my favorites. Give me anything I can throw in a bundt pan and maybe not even ice, and I’m happy.
• My writing is hitting a slump, so I’m going to refresh a little next week with the Healing Through Writing Festival. It’s all online, and most of the sessions are free. You can upgrade for a pretty reasonable price to get All Access, but per my energy level, I may just need to stick to the other sessions. But if you are a creative and need a boost, too, you may want to check it out. The presenters I recognize are top-notch, so I’m excited to learn what everyone else has to say.
• Finally, a very helpful product that my friend Steph introduced me to. My skin has been so sensitive – to heat, allergens, etc.  More than usual, I mean. It is a mess. Enter Active Skin Repair Hydrogel. I can put it on cuts, burns, allergy rashes…anything. And it soothes and heals. It has been a godsend and if this product were a person I would marry it. Highly recommend if you are similarly afflicted.

I hope you have a great weekend!

Friday Five – Rest for the Puny

Feeling a little puny this week, but otherwise, it’s been a pretty good one. I have a slow weekend ahead, and I’m looking forward to that. I actually get to sleep in tomorrow morning!

Next week is the students’ spring break, but I’m also taking off a couple of days and then a few days the week after that to make a long birthday weekend. Shaping up to be a good rest for the next couple of weeks!

• “In another life, I’m a booktuber.” Susannah Conway is one of my favorite people on the internet, and I love this short piece. I like my life and my choices in general. But I’ve been a bit blue this week and musing on the lives I could have had is a little bit of a breather. 
• In niche news, I’ve been into villanelles lately (e.g.,  “Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night”). I find their rhythm both inspiring and soothing. Might try doing something with that. Stay tuned.
• A little inspiration for getting my garden started this weekend. That’s the one big task I have planned for home for this weekend. I have my soil and seeds and here’s hoping another big freeze doesn’t come through before Texas spring really springs.
• I love this piece on embodiment and approaching living as an art form, taking into account possibilities as well as limits – The Art of Living (The Convivial Society)
• Happy International Women’s Day! Here’s a little light reading to celebrate. In addition to being Women’s History Month, March is also National Reading Month. Also, the longlist for the Women’s Prize for Fiction has been announced. So…take time off work for a reading staycation? I feel like that’s what all of these things are telling me to do.

I hope you are having a good day and that your weekend is everything you want it to be!